The real man shortage

 

 


It appears that we are running short of real men.

The issue started to emerge back in the early 1970s when we had “fluid” characters like David Bowie dressing up to look like women.

Fortunately, we got over it before the trend took hold.

But over the last few years, the movement has resumed with a vengeance and more and more men are stepping out of the blue and boots into designer dresses and high heels.

Some are even going through the whole process to make it irresistible, and this may leave a shortage of real men to help repopulate the planet.

Worse still, we appear to be training kids at a young age so that they don’t get a chance to decide what they want later in life, and no first kiss with that special girl, no prom king, no back seat romance in the hot rod.

You would think this would be a good thing for the surviving real men, reducing the competition. But it appears a lot of women like their males castrated – I mean really castrated as opposed to the lovey\dovey\I’ll take care of the kids and clean the house kind we have seen popping up in all east and west coast cities, the psychologically castrated male that has spread across the urban landscape like cockroaches. Sooner or later, women scientists really will find a way for these castrated men to have babies and won’t have to worry about that part of the reproductive cycle.

The other problem is that when real men go out on a date, they often don’t know who they are actually dating until they get to third base and find hanging fruit there rather than a cave of delight.

Some real men might get off on that kind of thing, but most real men I know won’t.

Finding a real woman might become as difficult an archaeological expedition as finding pieces of the true cross or Noah’s Ark.

This may explain why the population of the world is in decline (not to mention the disassembly line for abortion that places like planned parenthood have going) and could spell serious problems for the future of the human race – especially when parents (who do not want to be left out of the latest fad) turn their boys into girls almost as soon as their fat little heads pop out of the birth canal.

And this goes for girls, too, who want to be boys, and so real men can’t always tell just who it is or what it is standing in the urinal stall at the men’s room.

The new signs on the door should give fair warning, since gender fluid means anyone can pee in any toilet with or without the right equipment to do so.

Fortunately, there may be hope for real men on the horizon. Artificial Intelligence combined with robots are breeding a whole new race of beings, designed to be specific genders so a real man won’t have to worry about what happens on third base and can be assured that what takes place won’t be part of some social study project, won’t have to call the robot “he/she/it” or other messy pronouns.

The new robots might come with a sign around their necks, telling us whether they are male, female or some alien from mars, and won’t demand to be addressed as “They” and should “they” insist we can always reprogram them.

But that said, it won’t be the same strolling through a park holding hands, knowing that the fingers you are holding are as artificial as the he/she/it made of flesh and bone.

 

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